Velvet is based on Chiswick High Road, which on a weekday lunchtime often becomes Chugger Central. Many’s the time I’ve gone to pick up a sandwich, only to be approached by absurdly perky young men and women asking if I can spare a moment to talk about homelessness or cancer care or whatever.

Manchester was in the news recently for restricting street fundraising, and the BBC has analysed in depth the contradiction at the heart of the problem – most charities say it works, but most shoppers cannot abide being bothered.

Speaking for myself, I tend to fall into the latter category. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to talk to a chugger and I expect I never will. However, if it really does work for charities than that’s fine; the main thing that bothers me, as you find all too often on the High Road, is when they stand practically next to each other and form a gauntlet for shoppers to run.

So, here’s some advice to any charities reading this: get your people to space themselves out more. What really annoys shoppers (well, me) is being asked to stop by a chugger who’s just seen you declining the same offer from one of their colleagues stood fifteen feet away. Is it really too much to ask for them to at least stand out of sight of each other?

And as an aside, the other day I was in the West End and I saw a young man in a Shelter jacket being asked to stop by a girl fundraising for another charity. A chugger chugging a chugger, no less.

Not to worry anyone, but I’m pretty sure that’s the first sign of the Apocalypse.

Pauline loves pens. So does Anil.

(Picture from here, the League of Gentlemen’s
Many moons ago, I was on the PR team that won the account for a well-known law firm. During one of our first meetings with its marketing managers, I idly picked up one of the branded pens sitting on the table.