Shaken and stirred: a beginner’s guide to UK casinos

At Velvet we love a good staff outing. Festivals, afternoon tea, theme parks – you name it, we’ve done it. And we’re always looking to try something different, so when it was suggested we learn how to play poker, we jumped at the chance and booked in for a private texas hold ‘em lesson at the Sportsman casino, based in the rather swanky Mayfair area. Now, when it comes to visiting casinos, the Velveters have rather different levels of experience. I used to work for a casino chain in my hometown, the glamorous Swansea and as such have visited a fair few of them – and yes, admittedly there have been times where I’ve ended up chucking my last tenner onto the roulette wheel in a central London dive at the end of a night out. As such I knew what to expect, an ‘interesting’ clientele, a well lit room and slightly dodgy carpet. However, this was not the case across the board.

 

Image taken from the Sportsman casino website

 

As we walked through the deceptively shiny entrance area into the main casino, there was a sharp intake of breath from those kitted out in LBDs and heels… “this is NOTHING like Monte Carlo!”. It seems that if you’ve never visited a UK-based casino before, what you expect is rather like what you see in James Bond movies or adverts for luxury watches – glamorous women, tanned men with money clips, free flowing champers and a valet out the front to park the Ferrari. There was nothing wrong with the Sportsman, I hasten to add, and our instructor Wayne had the patience of a saint with a collection of the worlds’ least promising poker players, but it appears that the film and advertising industry is spoiling us with unrealistic images of glamour that very rarely exist – at least in the UK.

Once the initial shock had worn off and we settled into the quiet corner table and started to get the hang of the game we all agreed that it was a thoroughly good night out. There were even a few surprise successes on the night (must have been that lucky LBD, eh Jo). We even had to drag a certain associate director off the roulette wheel before she spun away all her winnings. We all came away with poker fever, and have even decided to play amongst ourselves  now and again (for stakes as high as cups of tea and washing up duties) so we can hone our skills ready to win some cash off unsuspecting poker fans. Sportsman – we’ll be back.  Look out Wayne, we’re coming to get you.